Absurdities and Ramblings of the mind!!!

- HELLO PARTY PEOPLE :3 i am the awsome sawce partner that will most likely be mentioned a bunch!!! i really love my silly boyfriend n i hope yu all enjoy his intruiging thoughts

(03.12.25) Persistent Thought: What do we know is real and what is not? This is a common thought for many but it trips me up alot. I dont believe people are real unless i get a feeling they are or they can prove it - rarely can they prove it. The others, the not real ones, serve no purpose but to create the illusion this life is real. I never feel real myself but i can only trust myself - rarely. How are we aware dreams are not glimpses intoa reality or another illusion. Illusion inside an illusion. Why should or why do humans exist with no purpose - we contribute nothing but cruelty to animals and ourselves and damage to the earth. What was the reason for us developing a conscious and thoughts if we do not use them? Do other people have a conscious? Who created laws for us to follow that go against our survival? Prison for theft and robbery even if its for basic necessities - this world was created for only the financially gifted to survive. we are bound by paper because someone years ago said so. We are trapped in a circle of limitations by imaginary boundaries people set. Like drawing a red circle around an ant, they will eventually figure out it is not really stopping them from leaving.M i hope one day, humans can leave our Red circles - the real ones will.

(03.12.25) Thought and Update: I somehow got my first job interview next monday! Exciting bur more so nervous - i know i didn't lie about anything on my CV but it feels as if i did because you have to overexaggerate things you did well. Honesty does NOT seem like the best policy huh? doesn't matter , i hope i get the job and they dont judge based off looks, they claim to be all inclusive. Hopefully they dont mind peircings and dyed hair, whatever i'v done work experience there before and they were all lovely..besides one volunteer who was so judgemental..doubt i will see her again as i'll be a cleaner! woo! After hours! i do wonder if its weekends or some hours after school. Gosh, it's confusing but i might be thinking too far ahead. Anyway, wish me luck!

(04.12.25) Thought and update: Nervous for the weekend, my partners sisters babies gender reveal. Such a long thing to say..then straight after that!! interview!! Did a practice one so hopefully if the 'interviewer' was right - i should get the job..even when i dye my hair bright red

(04.12.25) Persistent thought: Sat in criminology class now, wondering why we do this. School, work and so on - why do we do it if theres no definite purpose. Many people strive for riches and a lavish life or a job that they think they will like just to be stuck in a cycle of disdain and stress. Why do humans strive for large quanitties of riches or big properties when soon we will die? is it just to say we had it? nobody will know that after like 10 or 20 years, nobody will care who you were or what you did unless you did something historically life change for the whole of society. Even then, there's a good chance you will be forgotten. So why do we keep going with this and having limitations to our lives when we supposedly only live once. Why do we put outselves through this all, when we control what we do and how things are - why do we choose to suffer the difficult way when nobody will care. I dont get it.

(05.12.25) Thought and update: Gender reveal tomorrow , nervous but hell when arn't i? I am however more nervous about the job interview. i have yet to figure out when i am free to actually work each day of the week. It is going to be so very exhausting - school AND work. Thankfully i have less than a year at school left meaning after the last 4 or so months i can focus fully on work which is brilliant. I am going to check the listing again to see what hours i am able to work and how many. I have to speak to one of my teachers yet, explain i have a job interview going on. This is probaly the most mundane and boring thing for anyone to read but it will be my first paid job (if i get it) and im excited.

(05.12.25) Thought and update: Sadly Bliss felt too ill and had to go home, on another note... i believe i may be sble to work around school or during school - hopefully

(05.12.25) Thought and update: In philosophy class right now, just writing to write.. i dont know. i'm bored but i cannot focus right now so now im staring at the codes and stuff

(06.12.25) Thought and update: That gender reveal was today, quite boring. About 30 minutes in, give or take, both me and my partner got sick of everyone there. They were all quite boring, besides Crumb. It would have been worse for us if he wasn't there. Thanks apple crumble. Anyway, the baby is a boy - as i expected and a less than savouryy relative of theirs supposedly guessed. In short, it was boring. we took a fat nap like right after everyone left. (09.12.25) BIG UPDATE: Had the job interview yesterday!! it was so short but ehy called me later AND I GOT DA JAWBBBBB

(16.12.25) update and thoughts: Golly i havent typed on here in so long..well really its just been a week..belhhhr. Sat in crim rn, soo boring.. Merry 9 days till christmas!!

!! RANTS !!

I just want to rant about something that is on my mind consistently about one of my interests (which surprisingly i have not put on my site yet) so i'm sure we are all aware of Astarion Ancuncin from Baldurs Gate 3. The vampire guy that was Cazadors spawn ( basically slave for those who dont know what it means - Astarion was an elf that got turned into a spawn). Well we are well aware of his background and history under cazador - the abuse (the sexual kind) and the slavery and punishments he was forced to endure - everyone is well aware of that. Here is where i seperate myself, why do people still sexualize this character? he was a sexual slave for like 200 years and people think its okay to romanticise what he has been through and even then going on to sexualize him. It is heavily ridiculous to do that to a characters whose history is traumatic due to such stuff. It's like poeple purposely go out their way to ignore his story just because he is an attractive character. The whole reason he was kept as a slave was due to his attractiveness leading to him being sexualized for others pleasure which is exactly what alot of Astarions fans do? Make it make sense!!